Last year I was diagnosed with a possible Systolic Flow Murmur in my heart.
After months of waiting for the results of the 24 hour holter monitor and an ultrasound scan of my heart two weeks ago I met with the doctor today to go over the findings.
Basically and in a nutshell - my heart is fine. Perfect results from all of the tests. Nothing is wrong.
A flow murmur can be detected if one of the valves in the heart is faulty but can also be a result of a “young persons metabolism” forcing blood round the body faster than, say, an older person. Also because I am a skinny runt, the sound from the blood flow through my heart can be heard better than, say, if I had giant Man Boobs that got in the way of the stethoscope, or a thick coating of blubber surrounding my main organ. Therefore it could sound as if a flow murmur is there - but as it turns out, it is’nt.
I celebrated with a quick bust of Nordic Cross Country Skiing preceeded by a triple shot expresso with 12 sugars. And it still did’nt burst!
There’s nothing like being told you are fit and healthy(ish) by a qualified doctor. For once I feel really “alive“.
Well, it's not a giant lizard slaying robot and its not a new religion.
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Well done that man!
Celebrate with an extra chubby line, snorted off the breasts of a pair of Japanese twins, whilst you can hear your wife approaching.
If it can take that kind of abuse the world is your mollusc.
I’ll settle for a “danger wank” at the local library. Guaranteed to get your pulse racing….
You will no longer need that wank each morning from the wife then, “just to get me heart started”.
It’s good news week around here. I’m glad to hear your ticker is tip top.
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