Blind (drunk) Witness

I witnessed a crime last night.

At 4am I was awoken from my drink induced slumber by my youngest Son, who was complaining sleepily about something I now can't remember. What ever it was, by the time I got to his bedroom he was pretty much back to sleep anyway.

I went back to bed and listened to the Milkman rev his little battery operated car up our road for a few minutes before I fell back to sleep. 15 minutes later I heard a loud scraping sound from outside and jumped up and looked out of the window. A hoddie wearing teenage chav was attacking the back of an estate car across the road with a chisel or something and was making a lot of noise. By the time my alcohol riddled brain realised what was happening and that I had to obscure myself behind the curtains, bang on the window, shout and scare him off..... he ran away. I thought he had made too much noise, had got the willies and ran off.

But then he came back, at speed, with a brick in his hand which he promptly dropped through the back window of the car, smahing the glass completely, setting off the alarm which lasted for about 30 seconds! and legged it off with what looked like two laptops. I did'nt have time to shout. My heart was beating hard in my stomach from those Jack Daniels chasers and the spaghetti bake I ate when I got home. The whole thing seemed totally unreal.
A few of the neighbours, hearing the crash popped their heads out their windows to see what was going on. By the time I had opened my window and looked out, the robber was well gone. One of the neighbours insinuated that there was more than one of them anyway. Others waiting at the street corner as backup.
I chatted to the owners of the car this morning after breakfast as they arrived to find smashed glass everywhere and their equipment missing. I sat on my sofa reading a school book with my Son and watched him out of the corner of my eye saying "fuck! fuck!" as he paced around the car. I could'nt hear him, but I got the gist of what he was saying. I feel sorry for them but they did leave them "on show". I have offered to give a description of the kid and a statement if they need me to.
Every young baseball cap wearing teenager I saw this morning was a potential suspect. Two young window cleaners who were making their way down the road looked suspicious, as did a kid waiting, smoking, outside his mates front door before they went to school.  They all seemed to eye me suspiciously as I tried to see if it was one of them I saw last night.
Yob culture is alive and well - right on my doorstep!

The only ironic thing about this whole sad story is that the car was parked under a lamp post, which was lit - although it's pretty light at 4am anyway. On the lamp post is a police Neighbourhood Watch sign that reads "DO NOT LEAVE VALUABLES IN YOUR CAR".