PS3 Revealed

I popped to Toys-R-us today to buy yet more Pokemon cards to add to my Sons collection of over 500 (most were donated though… I’m not that stupid (or rich!)). We still don’t know how to play the game yet though.

Whilst I was there I got my eyeballs on the Playstation3 demo cablnet! A large Sony (40 inch+) screen was running Hi-Def demos of the PS3’s capabilities such as Blu-Ray, movie trailers, photos and games too. Some of the games looked amazing and smooth, such as Motorstorm - but others like “Metal Gear Solid 9 - Trouser Snake gets zipped” looked a bit PS1 for my liking.

I was immediately thinking..

Wow! This really is better than my Xbox 360! I might get one. Hmm.. £450 for the console.. how could I afford one… Sell the 360, and my Nintendo DS Lite…

Then I leant over to take a look at the console itself only to read, printed on the top in plain white capital letters “EXAMPLE CONSOLE ONLY”. Not only was the shiny black beastie not a real PS3, it meant that everything I was seeing on the video was also fake!

I then realised that all of the employees at Toys-R-Us were looking at me and they had little radio receivers in their ears like the FBI use - and they were all talking about me! Even the CCTV cameras were watching my every move. I tried hiding in the Hot Wheels isle, but some of the customers were also obviously “in on it” too and were casualy watching me whilst pretending to look at boxes of Yahtzee Texas Hold-Em Edition. One of them was even pretending to be texting on his mobile phone - but was obviously taking video surveilance footage to send back to the scientists at Area 51 who have been after me ever since I accidently hacked into their mainframe whilst looking for crackz and serialz for my BBC Micro.

I had to ditch the kids in the Scoobiez section and pull over a display of new TMNT action figures in order to escape the shop and then call my mate Jesus to come and place a protective “Faith Bubble” around me so the police and social services could not track me using that anal alien implant they gave me.

I’m invisible. You can’t see me. By the power of Jesu.. oh.. hello officer..

You just can’t trust anyone! Its all lies!